By Ashley Argese, Assistant Vice President of Communications at Cayuga Centers
As someone explores the idea of being a foster parent, they often wonder if they have what it takes. They may ask themselves, “Do I have the qualities that I need to be a parent?” or “What if I don’t have what the child needs?”
The truth is, there’s no one-size-fits-all when it comes to foster parenting. Every foster parent brings their own personality, strengths, and style to the table—and that’s a good thing.
Your personality plays a significant role in how you approach parenting. With a bit of self-awareness and a willingness to grow, you can lean into your natural strengths and develop in the areas where you need support.
Parenting styles for foster parents can vary. It’s not about being perfect—it’s about being present, adaptable, and open.
Understanding foster parent characteristics
On a basic level, we know that each foster parent must have good intentions, a safe home, and a willingness to help young people. However, each foster parent brings a unique strength to parenting. Depending on skills and life experience, the qualities of a foster parent are unique. Some are nurturers, while others are advocates or problem solvers.
Some of the top personalities of foster parents include community leaders, mentors, and caregivers. Take our personality quiz to see which one is your foster parent strength. Then, read on to learn more about what they mean.
Personality #1: Community Leaders
Community leaders make great foster parents. They often dedicate their lives to community service through their jobs or in their free time. These jobs may include police officers, EMTs, firefighters, medical professionals, public officials, and more.
Community leaders are often connected to local resources for children and families. Some of these include mental health services, food programs, educational resources, mentorship programs, or child-care services.
Community leaders witness every day how children are impacted by circumstances beyond their control—both at home and in their communities. In some cases, these young people are left without a safe place to stay while their biological families work toward healing and stability.
In moments like these, community leaders often step in—not just as advocates, but as foster parents—offering a stable, nurturing home during a child’s time of need.
This was the case for Jen, a St.Lucie County Police detective who worked for the Human Trafficking Coalition. She was assigned the case of a child who went into foster care while an investigation was pending. When Jen closed the investigation, she was asked to foster the child because of the connection she had made. She agreed, and after fostering for a period of time, Jen was able to take permanent guardianship of the child.
This type of fostering is called Fictive Kin, where an unrelated adult who has an emotionally significant relationship with a child is asked to care for them. Fictive kin caregivers can include friends of the family, teachers, coaches, parents of friends, and law enforcement.
Like Jen, the community leader personality fits well with children who need a strong voice and someone to advocate for them. With the support of their foster care agency, these foster parents prioritize the best interests of the child and help them connect with permanency resources.
Personality #2: Mentors
Mentors make great foster parents because helping young people comes naturally to them. Mentors can include teachers, tutors, and coaches. Mentors often have careers that involve daily interaction with youth. They may even spend their weekends coaching the local sports team or volunteering at a community organization.
Mentors often engage with young people in a one-on-one setting and can lend a listening ear. Sometimes, they are the one person the child trusts to talk about home life, bullying at school, or struggles with schoolwork.
Foster parents with a mentor personality bring a special kind of strength to the table. They’re often a steady, supportive presence—someone kids can lean on emotionally.
This parenting style is especially well-suited for children who thrive with structure, routine, and guidance. Youth in foster care may not have had that structure in their previous home or know how to build routines. Guidance from a mentor can have an essential impact on their future success.
Mentors create growth opportunities, whether it be through recreation, learning, or helping children build positive connections with peers in their community.
Almost everyone can recall a teacher who had a lasting impact on them during their school years. A teacher may have encouraged you to pursue your dream of attending college. They might have motivated you to pass a test or join a sports team that led to a future career.
A mentor’s patience, grace, and listening ear can make a profound impact on a child’s life.
Personality #3: Caregivers
It may go without saying, but caregiving personalities make excellent foster parents.
Caregiving personalities are often found in roles such as nurse practitioners, midwives, home nurses, pediatricians, and hospice workers. This can also include personal care aides or even retired individuals who are consistently good neighbors.
Caregivers step up and help their immediate local communities either through their jobs or by volunteering their time and energy to babysit or care for others.
They may bring food or comfort items to neighbors, volunteer to make dinners for firefighters, or send flowers in the mail during a loved one’s tough time.
The nurturing personalities of caregivers are their strength, and it often comes naturally to them. Caregivers can be great foster parents to children who require a high level of emotional support.
Their patience, compassion, kindness, and willingness to help those around them make them great foster parents to young people in need of loving homes.
How to use your foster parent personality to your advantage
It’s important to focus on your parenting strengths. However, it’s also essential to recognize the areas where you can grow, learn, and adapt.
Perhaps you excel at developing routines and boundaries, but struggle with handling unpredictable behavior. You may be great at comforting a youth in foster care, but you could use help identifying which resources are available to support their success.
There are numerous resources for foster parents available, and many of the foster parent trainings help you build additional skills and knowledge.
Leaning on your foster care support team for advice, guidance, and training is essential. Your treatment team not only supports you, but your child as well. They help support foster parents through daily check-ins, comprehensive training, respite services, and 24/7 support.
They also help the child in your home by teaching life skills, making appointments, navigating court appearances, providing therapy, and more. They are there to ensure you feel confident and supported every step of the way.
It’s also important to practice self-care in situations where you get overwhelmed or burnt out. You can practice self-care by using foster parent respite care, leaning on friends and family, participating in meditation, or journaling.
You’ll also have the encouragement of fellow foster parents who truly understand your journey. Monthly foster family support groups are available, and many families build their own networks — sharing extra car seats, cribs, clothing, and other essentials to help one another as needed.
Ready to discover your foster parent personality?
No matter your personality type, there’s a place for you in the world of foster parenting. Each type of parenting style brings something unique and valuable to the lives of children who need safety, stability, and care. By understanding your strengths and being open to growth, you can become exactly the kind of foster parent a child needs.
Whether you’re a community leader, a mentor, a caregiver, or somewhere in between, your personality can be a powerful tool in helping a child feel seen, supported, and at home.
Curious to find out what kind of foster parent you might be? Take our foster parent personality quiz and discover how your natural strengths can make a difference in a child’s life.
