Foster parents are some of the most caring individuals you will meet. Every day, they welcome youth into their homes and provide emotional support and a safe environment. But who supports a foster parent?
Foster Parents can find support in many places. First, they can find support through their foster care treatment team. This team assists with not only logistical support, but emotional support for foster parents. They provide training, 24/7 on-call service, transportation, case planning, and more.
Additionally, many foster parents find support in their own communities with family members, friends, and neighbors. But who better to understand foster parents than other foster parents?
That is the power of foster parent support groups.
Foster parenting is a unique journey – often different from raising your own kids. You likely will have multiple placements over time, watching youth enter and leave your home. This means providing a variety of needs for a variety of age groups. You could need a baby stroller one month and the next month be caring for a pre-teen who is working on overcoming trauma.
What kind of support can foster parent support groups provide?
Support groups meet monthly, either in person or online, to connect foster parents with each other and provide support. Foster parents share experiences and resources, give advice, make social connections, and learn from experts about foster parenting challenges.
Stephanie and Michael, foster parents with Cayuga Centers, attend a monthly support group and look to their peers for support.
“We build relationships with the other foster parents and they’re so good. You call if you have a question, a concern. And a lot of them have been doing this for years. So they have much more knowledge than we do. So we definitely lean on them,” Stephanie says.
Benefits of attending a foster parent support group
Feel validated in your fostering journey
Fostering presents unique challenges, and it feels good when someone who understands validates you. Some parents are dealing with the emotional rollercoaster of watching a child in their care leave their home. Others are trying to advocate for a youth who has experienced trauma. In either case, there is likely someone in the group who has been there before and can relate.
Some parents just need an outlet to vent so that they can then move forward. These are all valid reasons to lean on your support group and treatment team.
Learn how to handle real-life fostering situations
One of the benefits of support groups is the ability to get advice about real-life situations. Did your teen have a difficult time this week and acted out? Are you struggling with making a new placement feel welcome in your home? Are you nervous about an upcoming court hearing? Chances are, another foster parent has experienced it or a member of the treatment team can provide advice for your current situation.
Providers often offer extra learning opportunities on various topics. These topics include caring for children of different races, supporting LGBTQIA+ youth, self-care for foster parents, and handling behavioral problems.
Make social connections
One of the best parts of attending support groups is the connections you make with others. You’ll likely find a vast network of resources and a tight knit group that consider each other family.
Foster parents can share caregiving responsibilities or provide respite care. They also share a lot of tangible resources. Foster parents share resources if a child needs sports gear or shoes in a specific size. Parents and staff can also share information about local community resources for clothing, backpacks, or other supplies.
Stephanie and Michael found that with the help from their treatment team, they were able to connect and share supplies. “Maybe you don’t have the car seat or crib… That quick network of just being able to reach out to them and they say, okay, let’s reach out to some of the people in the [support] group,” Michael shares.
Receive emotional support
As a foster parent, it can be overwhelming to take on the trauma that the kids have experienced. That’s why self-care is so important. But don’t forget about the emotional support your peer foster parents can provide.
Bianca and Juan, respite foster parents, offer support to foster parents who just started their journey.
Bianca shares, “There was a new foster mom. She’s like, ‘Oh, I’m having all the feels you know?’ And I called my program manager. I said, give her my phone number. If she needs somebody to talk to, I’m happy to just chat with her. If she just needs another foster mom to unload on – let’s be supportive of each other.
I think Cayuga [Centers] does a really good job about connecting us with other foster families that can provide that additional support. So you don’t feel like you’re calling the teacher all the time. You’re actually working with your peers to work something through.”
Find inspiration in the stories of others
If you have the opportunity, make connections with existing parents when you first start fostering. For example, if you’re nervous about fostering a child or youth of a certain age, others can share their positive experiences or the difference they have made. Also check out Cayuga Corner for success stories of Cayuga Centers foster parents.
Michael recommends reaching out to existing foster parents when you’re considering fostering. “Sit through the support groups, sit through the learning process, and you’ll get … folks from all different walks of life. They will be able to tell you exactly what they’ve been through, their experiences in it, and I believe that will give you a boost of confidence that you need to know if this is the right decision for you or not.”
Finding support on your journey
Support groups for foster parents is essential. If your agency does not provide support groups, there may be other options in your local community. Try searching ‘foster parent support groups near me’ or ‘caregiver support groups near me’ online or ask friends and family for recommendations. There may also be a foster parent online support group you can join.
Providing support groups is just one way Cayuga Centers supports foster families. Check out more about our 24/7 support at cayugacenters.org/foster-care.
