By Zoë Hutchinson, Executive Vice President of Communications at Cayuga Centers
Many people cite the fear of attachment when discussing their hesitation to become a foster parent. What does being attached mean? How do we “attach”?
Attachment is a fundamental aspect of human development, shaping our relationships and how we connect with others. There are over 40 years of research studies and theories on attachment and styles. Learning about attachment style can provide insights into how we show up in relationships. This includes relationships with people (parents, family, caregivers, children, friends, romantic partners) and things like religion, a career, and money.
For caregivers, including foster parents, understanding attachment is particularly important in helping children feel secure and supported.
What is an Attachment Style?
Attachment style refers to how individuals form emotional bonds and relationships with others. Psychologist John Bowlby first introduced attachment theory, and Mary Ainsworth later expanded it. According to attachment theory, early interactions with caregivers shape our attachment patterns and styles. These attachment styles influence how we seek comfort, handle stress, and form relationships in adulthood.
What are the 4 Attachment Styles?
Researchers have identified four primary attachment styles.
- Secure Attachment: Individuals with secure attachment feel comfortable with closeness and independence. They trust others, seek support when needed, and form healthy relationships.
- Anxious Attachment or Preoccupied Attachment: Those with an anxious attachment style often fear abandonment. They may seek excessive reassurance from others.
- Avoidant Attachment or Dismissive Attachment: Individuals with an avoidant attachment style may struggle with intimacy and prefer independence over emotional closeness.
- Disorganized Attachment: This style often arises from trauma or inconsistent caregiving, leading to confusion in relationships and difficulty trusting others.
Can your Attachment Style change?
People shape their attachment style mainly during childhood, but they do not remain fixed. Life experiences, therapy, and relationships with supportive individuals can help modify an attachment style over time. For example, a person with an anxious attachment style can change through therapy or experiencing healthy relationships. Over time, they can develop a more secure attachment style.
Why is secure attachment so important?
Attachment is crucial for emotional regulation, social development, and mental health. Research shows that children with a secure attachment style tend to have higher self-esteem and stronger relationships. They also have lower rates of anxiety and depression.
Research shows that attachment styles affect work behaviors, romantic relationships, friendships, and parenting. It can even influence a person’s relationship with religion, money, career, and more. For example, if a person has an anxious attachment style, they may overspend to cope with their anxiety. An avoidant/dismissive person may not take the time to understand their financial obligations and ignore their bills and fall deeper into debt.
Many children in foster care have faced disruptions in attachment. Rebuilding secure relationships is important for their emotional well-being. Secure attachment behavior like open and honest communication and expressing needs and feelings freely builds their ability to regulate emotions, communicate clearly and be vulnerable with others.
What happens if a child never learns to attach?
If a child never learns to attach, they may experience significant emotional, social, and cognitive difficulties throughout their life. Attachment is crucial for healthy development, and a lack of secure attachment can lead to serious challenges. They may experience identity issues, have difficulty managing their emotions, and have low self-esteem. They also may be at higher risk of mental health disorders, exhibit behavioral issues, and have difficulty in relationships.
What tools do Cayuga Centers foster parents use to support secure attachment development?
The good news is that attachment can be repaired, and attachment healing is possible at any stage in life. This can happen through consistent, nurturing, and therapeutic interventions.
Cayuga Centers trains its foster parents in a trauma-informed model called the Attachment, Regulation and Competency (ARC) Framework. As the title suggests, supporting secure attachment is a core component of the framework model. The entire Cayuga Centers treatment team that surrounds a child in foster care uses this model.
The ARC Framework helps children in foster care heal from the trauma they have experienced. It also helps them build healthy attachment patterns, improve their emotional regulation, and gain life skills.
A secure attachment experience lasts a lifetime
Cayuga Centers foster parents have the knowledge and skills to build secure attachments with the children in their care. Building this attachment helps children develop trust, resilience, and emotional security.
Building a secure attachment is one of the most significant impacts a foster parent has on a child. Whether it’s short or long-term, providing a safe and loving foster home can positively shape a child’s emotional development and benefit them for the rest of their life.
Considering becoming a foster parent? Learn more here.
References:
- Ainsworth, M. D. S., Blehar, M. C., Waters, E., & Wall, S. (1978). Patterns of Attachment: A Psychological Study of the Strange Situation. Lawrence Erlbaum.
- Bowlby, J. (1969). Attachment and Loss: Vol. 1. Attachment. Basic Books.
- Fraley, R. C. (2002). Attachment stability from infancy to adulthood: Meta-analysis and dynamic modeling of developmental mechanisms. Personality and Social Psychology Review, 6(2), 123-151.
- Cayuga Centers uses the ARC Model for attachment. The Attachment, Regulation and Competency (ARC) Framework is a flexible, components-based intervention developed for children and adolescents who have experienced complex trauma, along with their caregiving systems.
