Parents go it alone for their kids all the time, but single foster dads are uncommon. This doesn’t have to be the case.
Do you ever wonder why someone decides to become a foster parent?
You may have friends, family or coworkers that foster, and hear their stories. Do you wonder how they can do it? How do they manage if they’re a single parent?
While there is no perfect road map that determines why someone agrees to take children into their home, most have tinkered with the idea in the past. Some are connected to the foster care system either from personal experience or through their employment.
How many single foster parents are there in the US?
According to a recent study from HHS, there were about 17,000 single foster parents in the US before the COVID-19 pandemic. Only 2,000 of them were single males.
Kwame, a single foster parent in Deleware, took in his first foster placement not long after he was certified in 2018. If you ask him, it was just like his biological children – the bond was instant.
“I’m a dad, so it was pretty easy for me,” he said. “It’s not really that challenging. It’s like dealing with my own children.”
A single parent with room to spare
Kwame didn’t plan to become a foster parent, but he got the idea from someone close to him.
Kwame’s ex-partner was a foster parent with Cayuga Centers. When the pair split up, and his children got older, the single dad found himself with an empty house.
Kwame reached out to his ex to see what she thought of him taking a foster youth in. She encouraged it – and so did his children.
That was five years ago. Since then, Kwame has leaned on his parenting experience and support from Cayuga Centers staff to become a veteran foster dad.
A prior foster care experience
The jump to becoming a single foster dad wasn’t that far-fetched if you look a little deeper into Kwame’s story. He had been a big part of his ex-partner’s foster experience.
Kwame watched his ex-partner have a successful experience and is determined to continue to have positive outcomes with his own foster child.
Foster parents need support
While the two have a natural connection, there will always be bumps in the road – like with any child. Cayuga Centers has been there for Kwame and the child when needed – no matter the time.
“(Cayuga Centers) is available by phone and someone is always there to give advice,” he said.
He has also learned a thing or two from Cayuga Centers’ support group for foster parents. Meeting with his peers had an unexpected effect: professional development.
Kwame transports kids with mental and physical challenges for a living. This training helped him learn new ways to deal with behavioral issues while on the job.
Changing a mindset
With five years of foster parent experience under his belt, Kwame doesn’t question his decision to a foster parent. He is happy to continue to help youth in need.
“Come in and be a foster parent,” he said. “If you have the time, if you have the space, you’re not only providing a home for someone, you’re providing stablility.”
Single fathers in foster care are rare. However, Kwame doesn’t let this discourage him from being a positive role model. He still strives to make a difference.
Kwame’s advice for men thinking about fostering? Give it a chance.
“They see you as the person you are, and they see that you’re a good man,” he said. “You’re taking responsibility. You’re giving that child a good example of what they could become.”
Who can be a foster parent?
This is one of the most frequently asked questions Cayuga Centers foster parent recruiters are asked.
Cayuga Centers welcomes people from every background as foster parents. All races, genders, and sexual orientations may apply. We have foster parents who don’t own homes or cars, but are excited to accept children into their homes.
And yes, we’re happy to have our single foster parents.
How do I become a foster parent?
To learn more about becoming a foster parent, visit cayugacenters.org.
