By Allyssa DelPiano, Marketing Specialist at Cayuga Centers
Most foster children face multiple traumatic experiences beyond the pain of separation from their birth families and everything they’ve known. Statistics reveal a stark reality: around 93% of youth in foster care experience at least one traumatic event in childhood. To put that into perspective, they face the same risk of developing post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) in adulthood as Vietnam War veterans.
This clearly shows the lasting effects of early trauma. Mental health challenges affect nearly 80% of this vulnerable group of children, making trauma recognition and treatment vital to their development.
It is also important for parents, caregivers, and professionals to recognize secondary trauma, also known as compassion fatigue. They must take care of their own mental health through self-care and a network of support. This is essential for building healthy and strong families.
Trauma’s impact on development and behavior
Children with four or more adverse childhood experiences (ACEs) are 32 times more likely to have behavioral and mental health problems than children without. About 47% of children in foster care have significant developmental delays in at least one domain such as language, motor skills or social-emotional development. This comes from experiences like physical and emotional child abuse, neglect, and exposure to domestic violence. It also includes sexual abuse, food insecurity, and seeing severe injury or death.
Research proves that traumatic experiences can change brain structure. These changes go beyond neural pathways and can manifest as disrupted stress regulatory systems, impaired executive function, and difficulties in emotion regulation. So what does that look like?
Trauma overview and supportive approaches by age range**
What might appear as defiance or manipulation in children who have suffered trauma is often their learned survival response. These aren’t behavioral problems, they’re protective strategies developed when they did not feel safe. It is their brain’s way of guarding against perceived threats. When you face these sometimes challenging behaviors, ask yourself, “What is this child trying to communicate?”, “What need is going unmet?”, and, “What is triggering these behaviors?”.
Below is a guide to identify trauma-related behaviors and how to react. Remember to call 911 if you ever feel a child is in physical harm.
Infants and toddlers (0-3 years)
Trauma Related Behaviors
- Excessive crying or difficulty being soothed
- Sleep disturbances or nightmares
- Developmental regression (e.g., losing previously acquired skills)
- Strong startle response to loud noises
- Withdrawal from physical touch or, conversely, excessive clinginess
- Feeding difficulties
- Separation anxiety
Supportive Approaches
- Maintain consistent routines for feeding, eating, playtime and sleeptime to build security
- Respond promptly and calmly to distress
- Use gentle physical touch when welcomed
- Speak in soothing tones
- Allow for safe exploration with supervision
Preschool age (3-5 years)
Trauma Related Behaviors
- Aggression toward self or others
- Frequent tantrums beyond typical developmental stage
- Re-enacting traumatic events during play
- Excessive fear of being alone
- Difficulty focusing or sitting still
- Regression in toilet training
- Separation anxiety
Supportive Approaches
- Use play therapy techniques to help express feelings
- Provide clear, simple explanations about changes
- Offer choices when possible to restore a sense of control
- Validate feelings while setting gentle boundaries
- Create predictable transitions between activities
School age (6-12 years)
Trauma Related Behaviors
- Difficulty trusting adults
- Controlling behaviors (may seem bossy or sneaky)
- Hoarding food or possessions
- Frequent lying, even about small matters
- Poor impulse control or emotional regulation
- Social struggles or isolation from peers
- Academic difficulties and loss of focus despite adequate cognitive abilities
- Extreme withdrawal, disruptive behavior
Supportive Approaches
- Create safety plans and clear expectations
- Use logical consequences rather than punishment
- Teach words to describe their emotions and self-soothing methods
- Provide opportunities for success and mastery
- Advocate for appropriate school support
- Maintain routines while allowing age-appropriate autonomy
Secondary trauma in foster parents and caregivers
Recognize that you can experience “secondary trauma” as you listen to your child’s experiences or witness their response and behaviors. This condition deserves the same attention and healing you provide to your foster children.
Those who practice regular self care like getting adequate sleep, regular exercise, counseling and journaling, support groups or spiritual self care experience 40% less burnout than those who don’t.
Use our self-assessment tool to recognize signs of secondary trauma in yourself, and don’t hesitate to lean on your support network or your Cayuga Centers team when you need backup.
Celebrate every small victory, while preparing for setbacks during stressful transitions like holidays or school changes. A bit of planning can transform overwhelming moments into manageable challenges.
Overcoming trauma can lead to life long success
Healing from trauma takes time, but foster parents don’t have to navigate it alone. Cayuga Centers provides treatment level foster care and dedicated wraparound support to both caregivers and children:
- Foster Parent Trainers work closely with foster parents, offering valuable training to help them meet their children’s needs.
- Our therapists or clinicians partner with youth in foster care, providing medical care to help them process their trauma and heal through specialized care.
When progress feels slow, remember that healing takes time—your consistent presence matters more than being perfect. By responding with compassion to both your foster child and yourself, you’re creating lasting change.
You are not just helping one child. You are also breaking cycles of trauma for many generations. These children will grow into adults who will build healthier futures instead of repeating painful patterns.
References and Sources
**
General Sources (Covering Multiple Age Groups):
- The National Child Traumatic Stress Network (NCTSN). (2023). Age-Related Reactions to a Traumatic Event. https://www.nctsn.org/resources/age-related-reactions-traumatic-event
- Perry, B. D., & Szalavitz, M. (2017). The boy who was raised as a dog: And other stories from a child psychiatrist’s notebook. Basic Books.
- Child Welfare Information Gateway. (2022). Parenting a Child Who Has Experienced Trauma. U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, Administration for Children and Families.
Infants and Toddlers (0-3 years):
- Lieberman, A. F., & Van Horn, P. (2011). Psychotherapy with infants and young children: Repairing the effects of stress and trauma on early attachment. Guilford Press.
- Scheeringa, M. S., & Zeanah, C. H. (2001). A relational perspective on PTSD in early childhood. Journal of Traumatic Stress, 14(4), 799-815.
Preschool Age (3-5 years):
- Buss, K. E., Warren, J. M., & Horton, E. (2015). Trauma and treatment in early childhood: A review of the historical and emerging literature for counselors. The Professional Counselor, 5(2), 225-237.
- Landreth, G. L. (2012). Play therapy: The art of the relationship (3rd ed.). Routledge.
School Age (6-12 years):
- Cook, A., Spinazzola, J., Ford, J., Lanktree, C., Blaustein, M., Cloitre, M., DeRosa, R., Hubbard, R., Kagan, R., Liautaud, J., Mallah, K., Olafson, E., & van der Kolk, B. (2005). Complex trauma in children and adolescents. Psychiatric Annals, 35(5), 390-398.
- Pynoos, R. S., Steinberg, A. M., & Piacentini, J. C. (1999). A developmental psychopathology model of childhood traumatic stress and intersection with anxiety disorders. Biological Psychiatry, 46(11), 1542-1554.
Adolescents (13-18 years):
- Cohen, J. A., Mannarino, A. P., & Deblinger, E. (2016). Treating trauma and traumatic grief in children and adolescents (2nd ed.). Guilford Press.
- D’Andrea, W., Ford, J., Stolbach, B., Spinazzola, J., & van der Kolk, B. A. (2012). Understanding interpersonal trauma in children: Why we need a developmentally appropriate trauma diagnosis. American Journal of Orthopsychiatry, 82(2), 187-200.
Supportive Approaches:
- Bath, H. (2008). The three pillars of trauma-informed care. Reclaiming Children and Youth, 17(3), 17-21.
- Blaustein, M. E., & Kinniburgh, K. M. (2018). Treating traumatic stress in children and adolescents: How to foster resilience through attachment, self-regulation, and competency (2nd ed.). Guilford Press.
- Hughes, D. A., & Baylin, J. (2012). Brain-based parenting: The neuroscience of caregiving for healthy attachment. W.W. Norton & Company.
