Full house, full heart: Fostering multiple children

Mar 24, 2023

Sara went from being a single trial attorney to a foster parent of four almost overnight. Here’s how she does it – and why she continues to open her home to children in foster care and focuses on keeping siblings together.

When Sara accepted her first foster child, she was just hours removed from getting her approval as a foster parent. She was told that a five-day-old newborn needed a home and jumped at the chance. 

Two weeks later, brothers and sisters aged – nine, 10, and 14-year-olds – were removed from their birth parents. 

Sibling groups are often hard to place due to a number of circumstances. Sometimes, ages vary widely or the group may be too larger for one foster family to accommodate.

According to recent foster care statistics, nearly 65% of youth in care also have a brother or sister in care, leading to many sibling separations. In the Florida foster care system, where Sara resides, about 35% of youths will end up in separate homes after being removed from a biological parent.

Sara, knowing how often siblings are separated in foster care, welcomed the trio with open arms. Just like that, she went from being a single trial attorney to being a responsible caregiver for four children. 

“It was the best experience with the kids, and it was a wonderful foundation,” she said. “I think had it not, I probably would have been scared away from fostering… but the kids were amazing and made it worth it.”

Helping a foster child adjust 

Nearly five years later, Sara is an experienced foster parent at Cayuga Centers. She is licensed to foster children ages 0-17 and can take in up to five children at a time. Sara doesn’t balk at fostering sibling groups — she has even taken in multiple sibling groups at once. 

“It’s kind of an art, actually. It’s always awkward for the kids; it’s always awkward for you.” 

Sara credits Cayuga Centers with helping the youths transition into her care.

“I will say that I’ve been very fortunate to have the best kids in my home,” she said.

“Cayuga does a really good job at not just trying to fill beds as some agencies would do, but knowing their foster parents and then trying to get an idea of the kiddos coming in the door so that we have the best chance of – I don’t want to say success – the best chance of things being smooth.” 

Welcoming foster youth into her home

She has her fair share of advice. For example, Sara says the key to a successful intake is limiting expectations over the first 72 hours. She doesn’t set any rigid plans during the first three days and gives the foster child or children time to decompress without pushing. 

Sara is also aware of a foster youth’s possible food insecurities, leaving a basket of healthy snacks available for kids to pick through at any time. In addition, she lets children choose a new stuffed animal or blanket when they arrive to comfort them.

Even with a new treat, Sara recognizes that a youth in foster care will want an air of familiarity.

“I can’t tell you how many trash bags I’ve opened of their clothing and their items, and they smell like cigarette smoke or they’re dirty,” she said. “I have become very cognizant that often there will be a cherished item in there and immediately washing that item takes away the scent that the child is used to.” 

“As difficult as it is, I try to identify that piece and talk to the little one about it and let them have the very stinky teddy bear that probably has never had a bath.” 

Foster care success stories 

Sara’s approach has paid off. She recounted the story of two siblings in foster care that had never been given the opportunity to play sports before. They were able to find ones that they loved – one was even named captain and MVP of their team. 

She also rewards her foster children with “grand deals” if they excel. Once, she treated her foster children to a trip to the Grand Canyon – her first as well – for raising their grades. She remembered the youths’ awe as they took in the view. 

“I remember getting to the top, and the boys looked and they said, ‘Whoa, this is it?” she said. “I said, ‘I’ve never been here buddy, I think so, it looks like it.'”

“Those moments are really exciting. They really are.” 

Saying goodbye to a foster child

As a whole, Sara knows that a temporary stay may lead to a painful goodbye. She recognizes another chance to make a difference in a child’s life will be just around the corner. She has realized that if a youth is placed for a short time, she can provide a solid foundation to a child that didn’t ask to be removed from their home. 

“I tell people that our heartbreak is just a very small moment,” Sara said. “Your heart heals very quickly when you get the next call of a kid or baby that absolutely needs you at that moment.” 

Asked what she would say to someone who is considering foster parenting, her advice was simple: 

“This is just doing life,” she said. “It’s just a different label on it.” 

How can I become a foster parent?

Learn more about the process and requirements of becoming a foster parent on our website.

Foster Parenting with Cayuga Centers

You don’t have to be perfect to be a perfect foster parent. Your unique background, knowledge, and skills might be exactly what a child needs. All you really need is an open heart and mind, and the willingness to give a short or longer-term home to a child who deserves a better future. Right now, there is a high number of children and youth who need a stable home in order to lead a healthy life.

Seeking diverse homes in Upstate New York, New York City, Pittsburgh, Delaware, and South Florida.

cayuga corner

Providing resources and support for your foster parent journey.

My family member is in foster care. What do I do? 

My family member is in foster care. What do I do? 

You recently learned that a family member (sibling, niece, nephew, cousin or grandchild) has entered foster care. Emotions and questions will flood your heart and mind.  Why is my nephew in foster care? Where is the child now? Can I see them? Are they ok? You...

read more
What happens to youth in foster care when they turn 18?

What happens to youth in foster care when they turn 18?

Picture one of your favorite young people. They have made it through high school, learned to drive, and have been surrounded by family and friends as they graduated. You share excitement and advice about their next steps, like college, internships, or gap year travel....

read more
An open heart and home: Eric’s foster parent story

An open heart and home: Eric’s foster parent story

We recently had the privilege to speak with Eric, one of our fictive kin foster parents, who shared his heartfelt experience. His story beautifully illustrates the profound difference a quality foster home can make, not only in the lives of youth in need but also in...

read more
Cooking up connections: Engaging with youth through food

Cooking up connections: Engaging with youth through food

Food is an essential fuel for nurturing stronger bonds between caretakers and youth One of the key responsibilities of a foster parent is creating a safe, nurturing environment where foster youth can heal and feel secure. But, transitioning to a new home can be a...

read more

follow us on instagram

Save the Date! 📣 This #GivingTuesday, our theme is “Touching Lives”, celebrating the over 17,000 lives the organization has touched through its programs in the past year. We invite you to make a meaningful difference by contributing to our cause. Your donation, no matter the amount, will empower individuals and families, helping them find stability, resilience and a brighter future. Your support can create lasting change and enable us to reach even more lives in need. Visit the link in our bio on December 3rd - or get a head start and donate today.
On Veterans Day, we honor the remarkable American heroes who have given so much for the advancement of our country. Their bravery and commitment serve as a powerful reminder that, no matter our origins or appearances, every one of us has the ability to make a meaningful difference.

stay informed

Four Female and One Male Standing Outside Next To a Get Tested for Covid-19 Sign

News

We have a lot going on at Cayuga Centers.
Keep up to date with our latest news and press releases.

Read Current News →