Here’s how Avia and Donavan used their own experiences to connect with their first placement.
Like everything in life, foster parenting is a journey. Placements have a beginning, middle, and sometimes an end depending on the permanency plan. Avia and Donavan stayed the course to build a solid relationship with their foster child.
Building a strong foundation
Avia and Donavan became licensed foster parents for children in therapeutic foster care in Delaware in January of 2023. The couple, who enjoy cruises, sightseeing and visiting their friends and family in their native country of Jamaica, accepted a youth into their care soon after their certification.
As they got to know their child, a teenage girl, they spent a lot of time discovering her likes, dislikes, and interests, encouraging her to be involved in extracurricular activities. The result was a string of successes for their foster child.
Sharing the love of sport
When Avia and Donavan asked their foster youth about her interests, they were delighted to learn she wanted to try track and field.
Having grown up in Jamaica, a nation known for its long, successful tradition in track and as a fierce competitor to the United States, they were excited to support their foster daughter through the sport and quickly became her biggest cheerleaders.
The couple has gone to almost all of her meets. Donavan fondly remembers how one of these meets led to building a stronger and deeper emotional bond between the family members.
“She won her hundred-meter race and I was so excited about it.”, Donavan said. “She ran and hugged me. It feels good to know that she has accomplished that and reached out to me as a foster parent.”
“It kind of gives me that feeling that we’re having a bond, She was comfortable (enough) to see us like real parents.”
Staying on track
When a child participates in extracurricular activities, one of the biggest challenges a foster parent faces is helping their child find school-work balance so they don’t fall behind and achieve academic success. Avia is very involved in her foster teen’s schoolwork and monitors her grades to make sure she isn’t falling behind.
She keeps track of all assignments and has watched her foster daughter’s grades rise to a B average. Foster care statistics show only 50% of youth in foster care graduate high school. Children in foster care can also face disruption in their education due to multiple placements, so keeping them on track is key.
“I support her in whatever she wants to do because she does have dreams, she does have goals,” Avia said. “There is a sense of pride, too.”
Championing for your foster child
Avia doesn’t just support her child when she’s on the track, she advocates for her off the field. When her daughter fell victim to bullying after her classmates discovered she was a foster child, Avia did not hesitate.
“I had to step in,” Avia said. “They know she’s not feeling nice about [being a foster child], so they try to bully her at times. I’m not saying she’s a perfect child. There are times she’s wrong, but when I go to school and I do advocate for her, I realize most of the time she’s not wrong. So I go to the principal, the teachers, or the other parent in the situation, and we go through it. And most of the time my child is not wrong. So I have to advocate for her in school.”
Staying the course
Over the past few months, Avia and Donavan have succeeded in creating a loving home and stability for their foster child – which is why they became foster parents in the first place. Their daughter just celebrated her 15th birthday – with 22 of her closest friends.
The family is very happy and content with the foster family they’ve created and for now, they will continue working together. If reunification does happen, they know their bond will continue.
Avia was unsure if she would be a successful foster parent before her first placement but is now confident that she made the right choice. She has a message for prospective foster parents.
“I’ve been there,” Avia said. “I was very nervous because I didn’t know what I was getting [into] for the fact that she’s not my biological child. However, take the bull by the horns. As long as you have love, care, respect, nurturing, and all those in you, go for it.”
“Love is the key in fostering,” Donavan agreed. “If you give the love that you want for yourself, you’ll be reaching out to others. There are so many [youth] out there that need care.”
