Maintaining the unity of foster siblings is ideal, but unfortunately, it is not common.
By Phredi Griffin, Vice President of Treatment Family Foster Care
Siblings hold a special important bond that shapes their childhood and future. Siblings are often each other’s best support system. So, why don’t we prioritize keeping foster siblings together? Siblings entering foster care are far too often separated and placed in different homes even when we know it’s in their best interests to stay together.
As a foster care leader at Cayuga Centers, a New York-based youth and family services provider, I’ve seen the damage of sibling separation and I have built programs around keeping siblings together after seeing the benefits and results in our evidence-based approach.
New York State has made strong policies to keep siblings together easier; It’s time for the whole nation to follow suit.
Why are children separated from their siblings in foster care?
Children that enter foster care have potentially just come from dangerous situations centered around neglect or abuse. They are about to enter a time of great uncertainty and instability, and their siblings might be the only constant they can rely on.
There’s an ongoing threat of moving homes and having to say goodbye. If they are separated, behavior often declines as the child becomes more stressed and misses their sibling. This only creates more disruption in their already challenging lives. Despite the trauma this can add, data suggests 53-80% of siblings entering foster care are separated.
There are many reasons for this, the most important being laws and foster agencies simply ignoring the issue altogether. Many factors go into the placement of children in foster care and keeping them paired with a sibling is often not a consideration high on the list.
Some other barriers in keeping siblings together include siblings requiring different degrees of care, entering the system at different times, or large age gaps between the siblings.
There are cases in which the sibling group is so large, it can be difficult to find a foster home that can accommodate them at the same time. It is a shame, as our programs have shown keeping siblings together has major benefits.
A sibling success story
Allie* and Jayla* are great examples of what happens when we ensure sibling placements. The 12 and 14-year-old girls entered foster care after suffering severe physical and sexual trauma in their home. Separation would have only made their story more tragic, so we ensured these siblings could stay together at all costs.
By having that shared history and navigating their foster placement together, they could be more transparent, identify where they or their sibling was struggling to get the help they needed so desperately. They’ve rebounded more quickly than anyone expected and are currently both on a permanency plan of adoption.
Siblings in foster care provide support, comfort, and familiarity for each other. They can grow together and learn new life skills with someone they trust. Their shared history means they have someone who understands their feelings better and we’ve found they are more likely to achieve reunification, permanency or adoption when kept together rather than separated.
How can we keep siblings together?
In recognition of the importance of sibling connection, New Jersey adopted a Siblings Bill of Rights in Foster Care in 2023 requiring visits and coordination in permanency planning and New York passed a similar law in 2017 giving siblings separated by foster care the right to visit each other.
But it is possible to keep siblings together in the same home and it’s up to agencies to implement their own practices too, especially because few states have policies that promote sibling pairings. Cayuga Centers actively recruits foster parents who have enough space for siblings and are comfortable with it—in fact, this is one of the first questions we ask.
We’ve also helped provide extra beds and bedding when the foster parents were happy to host siblings but didn’t have the tools. Keeping siblings together doesn’t always happen because of the logistics involved, but the obvious and data-backed benefits make the effort worth it twofold. State policy must take this into account and foster care providers need to build sibling pairings into their organizational culture and character.
It’s a simple problem with a simple solution that’s continuously overlooked. It’s time to change that.
*The names of these children were changed to protect their identities.
