The holidays can be a time of joy and celebration – sitting by a warm fire, decorating your home, opening a gift, or making a family recipe together. The holiday season is a time often celebrated with family and loved ones. For foster parents, it offers an opportunity to create these cherished memories for youth spending holidays in foster care.
Accepting a child in your home during the holiday season can be a blessing for both you and the youth. However, it can also be a difficult time for them to be away from their families. Although you may have had happy holiday memories while growing up, your child may not have had the same happy household or holiday cheer.
Sometimes, the child you care for may have a different culture or religion and celebrate different holidays. This presents a chance for you to embrace diversity and include their customs and beliefs in your holiday celebrations.
Whether you are providing a long-term foster care home or respite foster care, there are ways to help you be mindful of holidays in foster care.
Open and empathetic communication with your child is essential in creating a comfortable environment. Here are steps you can take to ensure that the holidays are a pleasant time for the youth in your care.
1. Embrace new holiday traditions
Before the holiday season arrives, engage in open conversations with your child about holiday traditions. Ask them about their favorite holiday memories with their birth family and the traditions they typically observe. If the youth celebrates a different holiday than your own, make an effort to incorporate some of their customs, respecting their background and identity. You can also explore new holiday activities together.
Educate yourself on the traditions of the various holidays throughout the end of the year. Here is an example of 11 Holidays the World Celebrates in December.
You may be eager to share your traditions with the youth. However, try not to push the traditions on them if they do not want to participate. Be open in conversations and provide alternative activities if necessary.
2. Make time to remember and celebrate loved ones
Many youth in foster care may feel a sense of longing during the holidays, missing their biological families. Reminding them that you haven’t forgotten about their families is crucial.
Visitation may not always be allowed for family members. However, if it is, try to schedule some extra time with biological parents or siblings. Talk with your support team to see how they can facilitate some holiday activities during these visits.
Making more time for visits with their biological family, if allowed, can bring comfort and connection. For those unable to have visitation, encourage your child to create cards or holiday crafts to send to their parents and document their holiday experiences through photos and videos. Here are 13 Meaningful Ideas for Birth Parent Gifts.
3. Show empathy for youth and their biological family
Imagine how difficult it is for the child’s family to be apart from their child during the holidays.
While not all efforts to reach out to biological families will be welcomed, involving your case manager and finding a middle ground can be beneficial. Balancing the joys of the holiday season with respect for the challenges families face during this time is essential.
4. Don’t take difficult moments personally
Not only do the holidays bring up difficult memories for youth in foster care, it also is a time of seasonal depression for many – especially in colder climates.
If you are dealing with some difficult moments, remember and accept that it’s not about you. The child needs your patience and understanding more than ever. Be flexible to accommodate their feelings and meet with your treatment team for advice on how to regulate the child’s emotions.
Be sure to allow yourself grace and practice self-care when dealing wih holiday stress.
5. Stay busy and engaged
Engaging your child in meaningful activities during the holidays can help them forget about negative feelings. It can also give them a sense of purpose. This can be particularly important in combating seasonal depression.
Plan activities that incorporate both your family’s traditions and those of the child. This creates a sense of togetherness and mutual celebration.
If your child prefers not to do holiday activities, here is a list of other non-holiday related activities to do during the winter time.
6. Most importantly, be there for them
Above all, make sure to let your child know that you are there for them. Every foster care case is unique, and some children may have a more challenging time during the holidays than others. It’s important not to set unrealistic expectations for a perfect holiday season but instead, focus on awareness and preparedness as you navigate the holiday season in foster care.
By taking these steps and offering love, understanding, and support, you can help a child in foster care have a more joyful and meaningful holiday season, whether it’s Christmas, Hannukah, Kwanzaa, or any other festive occasion.
Remember that the holiday spirit is about compassion, togetherness, and creating cherished memories, and you can be a vital part of making it special for the youth in your care.
Not a foster parent but want to support youth in foster care?
If you are unable to provide a foster home to youth, there are still ways to support foster care during the holidays. Many agencies, including Cayuga Centers, do a Holiday Toy Drive.
Visit cayugacenters.org/toy-drive to see our wish list for children in need. Here you will find plenty of ideas of holiday gifts for a foster child.
