By Michelle Prego-Milewski, Marketing Specialist and Felice Perrotta, Foster Home Recruiter and Licensor
Imagine for a moment that you run into a friend that you haven’t seen in years and they tell you that they’re a foster parent. What questions would you have for them? What have you heard about foster care that you’re curious about?
Many people have seen examples of foster care on TV or in the movies, or they may know a foster child in their personal life. While foster care awareness has increased, it’s natural to still have questions. Before we dive into the myths vs. the reality of foster care, let’s review some of the facts.
How do kids end up in foster care?
Youth in the foster care system are most likely there at no fault of their own. Children in foster care aren’t “bad”. In reality, less than 8% of children are removed from their caregivers due to their behavior. Most have been removed due to neglect, physical abuse or a parent’s substance abuse – or a combination of the three.
“Yes, these kids have a history of trauma,” said Foster Parent Recruiter and Licensor Felice Perotta, who has 20 years experience in child welfare. “These children are like any other children. They need love, care, and patience.”
Who can be a foster parent?
Requirements to become a foster parent are slightly different in each county or agency. Many question if they can be a foster parent because of their circumstances. In most cases, you do not have to own your own home, or a vehicle to foster. You can be single, with a partner or married. As long as you are 21 years of age, your household has steady income and can pass a background check, you are eligible to foster.
What are some of the myths surrounding foster care?
Now that we’ve examined some of the facts and questions surrounding foster care, let’s get into some of the myths
Myth 1: I can get sued if I become a foster parent
Foster parents cannot be sued unless there is a verified report of abuse or neglect. Perrotta has been hearing this question more often from potential foster parents – especially when it comes to older foster youth who have a history of running away. Perrotta says the best course of action is to report any incident as soon as possible so the child can be located quickly and avoid any negative consequences for the foster parents.
Myth 2: If someone files an abuse report against me when a child is in my care, I could lose my biological children and it can affect my career
It’s normal for active children to gain the occasional bumps and bruises as they play or try new things. Perotta said the key is to document any injury, no matter how small, especially if it involves a head injury.
“If it’s a head injury, no matter what, you need to take the child to the ER or urgent care,” Perrotta said. “If the child hurts themselves in the house – say they’re jumping on the bed and fell off – you just have to make sure to document the injury and make sure they’re taken care of.
“We will support you. We will advocate for you. Obviously, a verified abuse report is different, but we will support you.”
It’s not uncommon for biological parents or a young person in foster care who is suffering through the trauma of removal to file an abuse claim against a foster parent. Children are often upset, confused and scared after removal. In their minds, and sometimes the biological parent, filing an abuse report is a way to get them reunited sooner.
Myth 3: Foster parents are only in it for the money
Most foster parents receive a stipend to cover some of the costs of fostering a child, but the amount varies. Cayuga Centers provides Treatment Family Foster Care (TFFC), a type of foster care that involves caring for youth who have been through trauma, but there are different levels of foster care with varying payments. According to Perrotta, the stipend for traditional (non-treatment level) foster care can be as little as $15 per day.
“For some reason, they think that foster parents are making $100,000 a year and they’re in it for the money,” she said. “Therapeutic parents do get considerably more, but they also have a revolving door of therapists and life skills coaches in their house.”
These are just a few of the questions our foster parent recruiters and licensors have recently received while they are talking to potential foster parents like you! Remember, becoming a foster parent isn’t about being a perfect parent, it’s about giving a child who is dealing with trauma a space to heal until they can be reunited with their biological family.
“Kids aren’t damaged or broken,” Perrotta said. “If you think of them that way, then you’re not going to really ever get anywhere because you already have that misconception. But if you see them as just any other child that you see walking on the street and treat them as such, then that will make a difference.” Becoming a foster parent is a big decision, so if you have more questions don’t be afraid to reach out! You can learn more by visiting our Become a Foster Parent page, fill out our contact us form or send us a message on social media.
