You’ve completed the long paperwork-laden licensing process, CPR, first aid, parenting, and other training classes. You passed your foster home study check with flying colors, creating a safe and secure environment.
By now, you’re patiently waiting for the social worker to call with the news that a child is headed your way. But have you thought about what happens when they arrive? It’s normal for everyone to feel nervous and maybe even anxious as you create your new foster family.
Tips to create a warm and welcoming home for your new household member
Take things slow at first
You are excited to welcome this child into your home and hearts. But remember, they may be in shock. Be gentle as you all adjust. If you have a biological child or other family members sharing your home, make sure they are part of the introductory process.
Start by sitting in the living room and introducing yourselves to each other. This is the perfect time to set ground rules and let the child see how your family interacts. Avoid asking to be called Mom or Dad right now. Instead, give them a few choices like using your first name or Mrs. or Mr. [last name]. This can make them feel more in control.
Next, give them a tour of the house and show them all the shared family spaces. To help them adjust, save their room for last. Offer them some alone time, and a snack, or let them watch their favorite movie.
Once they have had a little time to warm up, you can gently answer any questions they may have.
Make their room a neutral, warm, and inviting space
Their room will be a place they take refuge in as they adapt to their new normal. Make sure it is a neutral space they can put their personal touches on. If you have another child in the home, ensure the foster child’s room feels just as important.
Some boys may not like blue, and some girls may not like pink, so keep bedding to a neutral palette. Have a selection of sheets or blankets the child can choose from. Lean on your support network for suggestions on home resources for toys, gently used items, and supplies to fit your budget.
Empower your child to express their creativity and personalize their space by letting them take the lead in decorating. Explore budget-friendly ideas on Pinterest or other platforms together to make their room truly special and reflective of their unique personality.
- Use scrapbook paper as a headboard.
- Hang dollar store frames with artwork found online
- Make tissue paper flower garland
- Hang fairy lights or LED light strips
- Decorate with comic book pages
- Use a piece from this collection of decor we made for our Cayuga Centers foster parents.
- Let the child decide the wall color, even chalkboard paint!
Give them a visual display of everything they may need
Take it from Sara Mancini, a Cayuga Centers foster parent who has welcomed more than 24 foster youth into her home.
“I find that sometimes they are embarrassed or don’t know to ask for things; I make sure to lay out all the supplies so they can visually see everything they might need [from] toiletries [to] blankets.”
Sara reminds us that some of these children have suffered significant trauma or come from homelessness and might not feel comfortable asking for anything. Providing a welcome basket of toiletries and comfort items prevents them from needing to ask.
Include the kitchen in your welcome tour
Many of these kids have experienced food insecurity. To ensure they feel welcome and safe, consider creating a snack corner filled with healthy options like fruit, peanut butter, crackers, and granola bars. Stock the refrigerator with yogurt, fruit cups, pudding cups, and beverages.
Sara recommends labeling it the “24-hour basket” and encourages kids to help themselves when they are hungry.
For Cayuga Centers foster parent and adoptive mom Francis Martino, food is how she welcomes new foster youth into her home. Even before their arrival, she reaches out to ask about their favorite foods, ensuring a special meal awaits them upon arrival. Recognizing that many youth may hesitate to ask for anything, Francis keeps bowls of various items like vegetables, fruit, sweets, juice, and chips readily available.
Make sure they are part of the unpacking process
Some children are part of an emergency placement and arrive with their items in a grocery bag. Give them space to unpack their treasured belongings and respect their wishes.
If you see or smell something you want to throw in the wash, resist the urge to do so. Sara has learned these items often hold significance. The scent of these is sometimes a connection to their birth family and the places they have left.
Make them feel special, safe, and secure
Additional tips from our Cayuga Centers foster parents and staff are:
- Create a welcome basket with a small stuffed animal, socks, book, toothbrush & toothpaste. Include a photo of yourself and others in your home with names to help the child remember.
- Provide a weighted blanket.
- Have a nightlight in the bedroom, hallway, and bathroom
- Visit a foster closet or thrift store for clothes, shoes, and pajamas in different sizes. This way, you’ll have them ready if you don’t know the child’s details before they come.
- Keep a box of new stuffed animals, toys, or blankets for your child to choose and keep.
- Keep a variety of age-appropriate books and toys on hand.
- If you plan to foster a baby, keep diapers in various sizes, wipes, bottles, and formula on hand.
- Sound machines can provide comfort.
- Have travel-size toiletries for the first few nights, but take the child shopping so they can select their favorite hygiene products.
- If you can, have extra duffel bags or suitcases ready in case the child arrives with a trash bag.
- Keep a first aid kit and medicines in a locked cabinet for emergencies.
- Declutter and clean your house to help the child not feel overwhelmed.
Once your foster child has had a little time to acclimate to their new surroundings, you can help establish expectations and boundaries, house rules, and chore contributions to the family.
Transitioning into a new family can be daunting for any child and your thoughtful preparations can make all the difference. From providing a personalized welcome basket to creating a comforting space they can call their own, every gesture helps foster a sense of belonging and security, helping them transform their life in profound ways now and into the future.
At Cayuga Centers, we understand the importance of fostering an environment where every child feels valued, supported, and cherished. If you’re not already a foster parent, we invite you to join us on this incredible journey of love and compassion. Together, we can create brighter futures and build stronger communities, one loving foster home at a time.
