We recently had the privilege to speak with Eric, one of our fictive kin foster parents, who shared his heartfelt experience. His story beautifully illustrates the profound difference a quality foster home can make, not only in the lives of youth in need but also in the hearts of those who open their homes to them.
From neighbor to foster parent
Eric’s journey into foster parenting is not a typical one. For years, he considered fostering but didn’t fully commit to the idea. That changed when he met a 12-year-old boy in his neighborhood who later expressed a deep need for a more stable home. Eric reflects, “I was fortunate to know my youth two years before I started fostering him.”
Now at age 14, the two have developed a meaningful bond built on a foundation of trust. They spend time fixing things around the house and enjoy activities together. From building projects to just hanging out, their relationship has blossomed into something truly special. Their story isn’t just about fostering; it’s about a unique form of kinship foster care.
Building a community and creating memories
Kinship foster care can come in many forms. In Eric’s case, fostering was driven by a strong sense of community. Eric’s home is not just a place of refuge but a hub of activity and joy. From bike trips and camping adventures to tending to a garden with ducks and bunnies, Eric has created an environment where his child can thrive. “There’s a big community, and I think my foster child really likes that. He likes the socialization and the freedom that he didn’t have before,” Eric shares.
Eric’s faith also plays a significant role in his approach to foster parenting. He finds strength and guidance from his church. This foundation of values, combined with the social aspects of church and youth groups, provides additional support and positive role models for his child.
Being part of a church community and leaning on foster care support groups has positively impacted Eric’s foster care journey.
A solid foster parent support system
One of the most significant aspects of Eric’s testimony is the unwavering support he receives from his Cayuga Centers team. “Cayuga [Centers] has been terrific as far as getting trained and feeling equipped to be a foster parent.”
Eric describes how the team is in constant communication, offering daily check-ins and immediate assistance when needed, for both Eric and his child. This network of care and support is crucial, especially during challenging times, and provides welcomed guidance.
For Eric, the support isn’t t just about frequent check-ins, but also about feeling part of a team.
“I don’t feel like I’m alone as a single parent fostering my foster child. I feel like there is a huge amount of support with me,” he shares. This consistent support helps Eric manage the day-to-day challenges and has made him feel more confident in his role.
Eric emphasizes the practical support he receives as well. Cayuga Centers provides financial support, allowing foster parents to focus on providing a nurturing environment without the added stress of unexpected costs.
Consistent support for youth in foster care
Eric describes the support his foster child receives as nothing short of remarkable. “Cayuga [Centers] has been terrific in terms of training and ongoing support,” Eric says. He appreciates the comprehensive approach Cayuga Centers takes to ensure that foster children feel supported, heard, and understood.
The treatment team meets with the child twice a week, providing a consistent presence in his life. This regular contact helps build a sense of stability and trust, which is crucial for children who have experienced trauma or domestic violence.
Eric recalls instances when that immediate support made a significant difference. “They seem to know about an incident that happens at home almost at the same time I’m aware of it. Somehow, my foster child is texting them and saying ‘I need to talk to you,’ and they work with him on the phone.” This swift intervention helps de-escalate situations and allows his foster child to return to a calmer state before re-engaging with Eric.
The collaborative approach extends to family-based therapy, where breakthroughs happen gradually but noticeably. “We have weekly family-based therapy, and we’ll talk about some things… sometimes it looks like they’re not moving anywhere, but then the next week, he starts to remember things we talked about, and things start to gradually improve,” Eric explains. This therapeutic support helps children and their families develop healthier behaviors and stronger relationships.
Breakthroughs, progress, and rewards
Eric recounts how his child’s behavior gradually improved through consistent support and therapy.
“We’ve had some breakthroughs. It happens gradually, but you’ll see changes as you reflect back after a few months,” he says. These small victories, like seeing his foster child manage emotions better or receiving positive feedback from teachers, are immensely rewarding.
The kindness of Eric’s 14-year-old foster child speaks for itself.
“His teachers often mention how ‘he just brings so much enthusiasm and attitude to the class.’ They say he ‘brightens their day’ by actively participating and raising his hand, even if he’s not the top academic student. His kindness really sets him apart.”
His generosity is a beautiful reflection of his gratitude. Eric shares, ‘He takes his allowance and…he’s giving it away. He’s sharing his allowance with other people because, to him, it’s a lot of money. He’s not used to having it. It’s truly inspiring to see how, despite his past challenges, he is so willing to share what he has with others.”
A call to open your heart
Eric’s story is a testament to the impact foster parenting can have. Creating a better environment for children and youth, and providing stability, love, and support is essential.
His advice for prospective foster parents, especially those who are interested in fostering a teenager?
“You have to really have a desire and a love for children. You have to really want to do this knowing that you may not get rewarded for this,” Eric advises. The true reward lies in knowing you are making a difference in caring for these children, and offering something better.
At Cayuga Centers, we are committed to supporting our foster parents every step of the way. If you have therapeutic foster care questions, want to know more about kinship placement, if there is a foster care agency near you, or want to know more about foster parent home requirements, contact us. We can help you navigate the certification process and training requirements.
Your love, patience, and dedication can change a child’s life forever. Join us in this mission to make a lasting difference in our communities and the lives of children who need it the most.
