By Allyssa DelPiano, Marketing Specialist at Cayuga Centers
When Andrew and Jessica Cook decided to become foster parents just a short while ago, they weren’t entirely sure what to expect. Today, they’re a family of seven.
Embrace the unexpected journey
The Cooks’ journey into foster care began with short-term placements and holiday respite care (a temporary stay for children when their regular foster parents need a break). These experiences quickly showed them the impact they could make.
“It was magical and very fun to have them during the holidays, to get our feet wet for the long-term placement to come,” Jessica reflects.
What started as dipping their toes into foster care soon became a full family transformation. Their story illustrates how foster care plans can change in beautiful and unexpected ways.
Forget about “getting too attached” – You are supposed to
A common concern potential foster parents express is the fear of becoming too attached to children who may eventually leave their home. The Cooks address this head-on.
“We get this question a lot. ‘Oh, that’s great what you do, but don’t you get so attached? How does that work out? I couldn’t do it; I’d get too attached,'” Andrew recalls.
Jessica responds with wisdom earned through experience: “If you’re not attached, you’re not in it for the right reason. You are going to get attached. It’s ok to get attached.”
Andrew continues, “At the end of the day, our job is to love them. And if we’re so attached that we’re upset to see them go, even if it is to a better situation…then we know that they know they’re loved.”
Rather than seeing attachment as a drawback, the Cooks view it as essential to providing the healing environment these children need and deserve.
Making memories together
One of the Cooks’ guiding principles has always been to include their foster children in every aspect of their lives, particularly travel. “If we go, they go,” Andrew says. They’ve taken their foster children to Disney World, Universal Studios, and various locations across Florida and Georgia.
“We always said that whenever we have a placement and we have a child or children, we’re always going to take them with us,” Andrew shares. “We just tell our caseworker and they’ll submit it to the court and you get it [the permission].”
Jessica adds, “To see their faces for the first time is the best. I always cry.”
Every child has left an imprint on their hearts. Whether it was a little girl dancing in snow for the first time, or sports-loving boys bonding over basketball, a child experiencing the excitement of getting their hair done at the salon for the first time, each moment has been special.
These experiences aren’t just fun, they can be healing. By creating normal family memories, foster parents help children experience stability and joy.
The power of keeping siblings together
One of the most passionate topics the Cooks discuss is the importance of keeping sibling groups together. They’ve witnessed firsthand the special bond between siblings who have experienced trauma together.
“We had a brother and sister. He was definitely her big brother. He always looked out for her. You could just tell their bond. I couldn’t imagine them not being together,” Jessica explains.
Andrew adds, “We always urge people to keep siblings together because ripping the only person that you do know away from you, to go to a stranger’s home is scary. That causes even more trauma on top of already leaving where they’re coming from.”
This commitment to maintaining sibling bonds eventually led the Cooks to adopt four siblings, including twins, one of whom faced significant medical challenges.
Facing challenges with support
The Cooks don’t shy away from discussing the challenges. They’ve navigated medical emergencies, including caring for a beautiful baby who suffered from shaken baby syndrome where even brief intense shaking of an infant can cause brain damage that can’t be reversed.
“She had a massive brain bleed,” Jessica recalls. “We were originally told that she was not going to make it.”
Today, that little girl is thriving despite a second emergency related to the initial injury, and long term cerebral palsy and seizures. Her story illustrates both the challenges foster parents may face and the profound difference they can make.
The Cooks emphasize that no one navigates these challenges alone:
“You have to have a huge group of people behind you. Lean on your foster care agency, your licensing agency, other foster families,” Andrew advises. “It’s really important to have people that know what you’re going through because not everybody understands the foster care world.”
The unexpected gifts of fostering
Perhaps most striking is how the Cooks view fostering as a gift to themselves, not just to the children they care for.
“It’s been a blessing to us. I think it’s blessed us more than it has any kid that’s been in our care, honestly,” Andrew reflects.
Jessica adds that fostering has expanded their world. “We’ve grown as people even in the last 14 months. Your whole world changes but stays the same. It’s different, but in the best way.”
The Cooks have learned everything from patience to hair care techniques for different hair types, to cooking foods from various cultures—all while providing safety, love, and stability to children who needed it most.
Advice for those considering foster care
For those considering becoming foster parents, the Cooks offer straightforward advice.
“Take a deep breath.” Andrew says.
Jessica adds, “Just do it.” They both say “ You’re not going to regret it.”
Jessica goes on to say, “Listening is a big part of foster care,” and “Sometimes, it’s not about talking, but just being there. Letting them know they’re safe.” They share the importance of training and a foster care support team who they can lean on whenever the need arises.
Jessica and Andrew also mention they attend foster care support groups provided by Cayuga Centers where they’ve built a strong community of physical and emotional support through park dates, texting, talk and check-ins that can make all the difference.
Their experience shows that while the journey may look different than expected, perhaps even leading to adoption when that wasn’t the initial plan, the rewards of providing love and stability to children in need are immeasurable.
So are the Cooks done growing their family? The answer might surprise you.
Andrew and Jessica aren’t done fostering. They are even renovating their home to make more room for future placements, and they remind us that sometimes the most meaningful path is the one we didn’t expect to take.
